So... What now?

There's a phrase that I, like every other student in their ultimate year of study, have been hearing non-stop this year. It's an innocent enough question, sparked by some mild curiosity or polite attempt to make small talk but for a great number of us these three simple words cause a whirl of internal chaos and unprecedented amounts of fear. These three words are: "so... What now?”

To answer the question bluntly, I really don't know any more. Medicine is my passion and I have always believed it would be what I would end up doing. Yes, this may be because both my parents are doctors but really, why should that matter? I've grown up around hospitals and spent the greater part of 10 years in the small one or two bedroom accommodation provided by hospitals for doctors with young families. It's not a glamorous job by anyone's standards and the wards themselves are political minefields. The job has long working hours, years of studying, a lifetime of training and involves more paperwork than actual treatment of patients but it's what I want to do. There's a world of good I see in medicine and I want to be part of something that immediately and undoubtedly helps the lives of so many people. Clichéd, I know.

But it seems that medicine doesn't want me. This year counts as my third attempt at applying for medicine through UCAS (I also applied for a course transfer through my uni). Out of the thirteen applications I've sent off over the past few years, I've only had two interviews, both of which were subsequently followed by rejections. I don't know what medical schools are looking for, but it seems like it's not me. 

So here comes the conundrum. Do I spend the next few years doing jobs in a healthcare setting or do I grow up, let go of my dreams and get a job?

Naturally, you must be thinking, "Well, you want to be a doctor, so just do the jobs in healthcare, gain experience and apply again," and you're right, of course, but it's just not that easy. 

First of all, doing a job in the NHS that isn't being a doctor just doesn't appeal to me. Call me arrogant if you want, but it's more because I would be doing something so similar to what I love, and yet be so exceptionally far from it. I would probably spend my time walking up and down the ward getting frustrated and feeling positively useless.

"It'll be worth it," I hear you say. Er... Will it? When I went to my most recent interview, I was grouped with all the graduates. Some of these graduates had been applying every year since their A-levels, had countless years of experience and did more extra-curricular activities than I can count on both my hands and feet and yet, for the vast majority of them, this was the first and only interview they had received. Out of the sixteen of us in that group, only three or four would get offers. Now, that's scary. 

"Just do it, what's the worst that can happen?" Absolutely nothing! Who knows, maybe I'll actually be successful if I do it again! But I have only 3 months to perfect my application this year, which includes having to organise work experience and do the medical aptitude test. 

Organising work experience placements over the past few years has become impossible for students, and most hospitals will only offer work experience to A-level or GCSE students. I could volunteer at a hospital, but for some PCTs (primary care trusts) you need to have been a registered member of the hospital for three months before you're even allowed to submit your application and even then you might be rejected. 

On top of that, the medical aptitude test is my pitfall. Although I've been getting successively higher marks each time, universities have also been increasing their cut-off threshold despite studies showing that they do not predict medical school performance (http://student.bmj.com/student/view-article.html?id=sbmj.f1882). 

Which brings me to my third point, applying for medicine is NOT cheap. Let's talk about the entrance exams. There are two different types: the UKCAT, which is required for the vast majority of medical schools and the BMAT, which only a handful of universities use. 

Depending on when you apply for it, the UKCAT might cost you £65 or £80*. While I can see that the UKCAT helps those people who go to under-achieving schools get a chance if their grades aren't brilliant, universities already factor school impact into their selection procedure (there have been many cases of students having grade requirements lowered) and I'm not sure £80 to do a single online test is helping social mobility.

"The UK Clinical Aptitude Test (UKCAT) is committed to achieving greater fairness in selection to medicine and dentistry and to the widening participation in medical and dental training of under-represented social groups." 

http://www.ukcat.ac.uk/about-the-test

You can also do the BMAT, which is harder test aimed at Oxbridge-esque students that costs £44*. So, if I want to apply to prestigious medical universities, on just the entrance exams alone I'm looking at either £109 (= £65 + £44) or £124 (= £80 + £44). Applying through UCAS is another £23* on top of that, so our expenditure has gone up again. We're now looking at spending £132 or £147 and that's for the basic requirements of the application process. Once you factor in getting work experience, travelling to work experience/open days/assessment centres/interviews, interview or entrance exam courses, spending money on practise tests and books to help you perfect your application (I know I spent about £80-£100 on the books alone), your expenditure is actually close to £300+. For someone with a crippling student debt already hanging above their head, I really can't afford this.

Without going into too much detail (insert: ranting), there's also the matter of paying for the degree if I was successful in the UK or having to fund a medical degree abroad, the latter of which brings a whole host of other issues (employability in the UK being a major one), so surely I should just find a job?

Not to regress into my 5 year old self, but I really don't want to get a job just yet! Despite the fact that I would love to have money, get some independence and generally just grow up, I don't know the first thing about the Adult World. I don't know what kind of jobs I would be suited for since I have close to no experience outside of medicine and it seems that people who graduate with my degree either become researchers or teachers (I have experience in both, and... just no). 

So... What now?

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Tanvi x.

* at the time of writing